CheekySommy: LIFE IS DYNAMIC

CheekySommy: LIFE IS DYNAMIC: Had a phone conversation with my dad last week and he was like, " Nne, when are you coming home for Christmas? " and I was like, ...

LIFE IS DYNAMIC

Had a phone conversation with my dad last week and he was like, "Nne, when are you coming home for Christmas?" and I was like, "I don't know yet dad. If I will come back at all, it will be towards 29th or 31st of December". And he just said, "Okay, let me know when you make up your mind". That was a weird answer, coming from my dad of all people. I remembered when i was still in the university, his usual response will typically be - "Chisom, I don't know what it is you are talking about, I will need you to come back home before 22nd. I will be taking everybody to village on the 22nd!!!!!!!!” 

It stuck me; things change, life change, people grow up and conditions evolve. Life is dynamic. Life is in constant flux, no condition remains permanent. 

I remember;

· When with N20, I could get a loaf of bread and a bottle of Limca or Gold spot (whoever remembers this drink, lol).

 When a piece of Tom-tom sweet was N1 (coin). Lol. .

· When a Milo bar being sold for 50kobo/one. 

· When there was no sachet water and people sold ice water tied in nylons for just N1.

Nothing in life is ours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it .  Too many people hang their happiness on achieving things in life. Having a bigger car. A safe job. Bigger salary. An attractive partner. Happy, content people understand it’s not about reaching the goal. For me it has always been about the process towards a goal. Living in a world of possibilities.

“Life is not always perfect. Like a road, it has many bends, ups and down, but that’s its beauty.” - Amit Ray.

One minute you had it all planned out and you feel you are in control of what is going to happen for the next 1 day, 1 week, 1 month and even 1 year. The budgets are well calculated and mapped out, your plans for your family/kids all well structured. To you, I have got it all figured out.

The next minute;  You fall in love, fuel prices crashed, Forex rates increased, inflation followed suit, devaluation happens, someone important dies, a friend/spouse loses his/her job, work becomes tougher because of the economic challenges,  your spouse cheats on you, your child comes home with a poor result, somebody stole your car, MMM crashed and you lost a huge amount of money. Suddenly, it doesn't look like things are going to go as planned.

What do you do when you had things all planned and things changed along the line? Do you give up? Or do you find new ways to adapt to the changes?. The easiest thing is for us to give up, but I say no, because life is dynamic. Depending on our paradigm about the situations, things will eventually turn out well.  These changes are the spice of life. If everything was as we expected, then life would be so boring. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I wish for bad things to happen, the truth is that some things are not within our circle of influence, we cannot control some situations and changes in our lives, we can, however, control how we react to them or how we feel about them.  So, changes will come, maybe not to us but to people we care about . Things change everyday. What matters is what we do about them. Do we learn from the bad ones and move on, do we pause our life to dwell on what has happened or do we change our paradigm, redefine our conditions to adapt to the ones we can’t change. It’s up to us.

I think the most important thing is to be present at all times (I don’t mean bodily present), entirely present at every point and stage of our lives. Enjoy life to the fullest  and make the best out of every opportunity because some opportunities come once in a lifetime. Focus on things that are within our circle of influence, to ensure every moment was maximized fully;

Þ Keep up with your hobbies No matter how bored it might be to the next person, to your colleagues and your friends. It is what you are wired to enjoy. You are not the same as everybody, hence, you are not wired to like things that everybody likes. I bet the people that invented basketball and all forms of leisure activities weren’t looking for what everybody liked. It’s what they loved. Be engaged in your favorite activities. Investing a few hours in your hobby is like giving food to your brain and soul.

Þ Overcome your fear Are you scared of walking in the dark? Are you scared of trying sky diving? Overcome your fears and tread on unfamiliar paths. Harbor confidence to venture into the unknown and conquer your fears. Try new things and explore new possibilities. If you fail, get up and keep trying until you perfect at that thing.

Þ Be a student for life Do you believe that if you stop learning, you’re virtually dead? Life is a teacher which doesn’t see barriers of age or time. Seek knowledge from every possible source that you can and constantly enrich yourself. See every opportunity as an opportunity to learn. Constantly assess situations/people’s experiences and add one or two things to yourself. Learn new thing, one word every. Read, read explore. Learn !! Learn !!! Learn !!!!!!!.

Þ Make friends out of everybody  Not all of us are perfect at this. Some people have an “A” grade at this, i don't fall in that category at it either. I am worst at it. But we need to try to do it at our own pace. The truth is that, not everyone is going to end up being your friend. Some people have values that are different from yours, don’t force it. But are you going try and make friends out of everybody; YES!!!!!!!. Please try. Be nice to people, be kind to everyone, express your feelings with respect, value people’s times and attention. Call your friends and catch up with them. Say “Thank you” always and appreciate people when they have helped you.  At the end, people who are meant to be your friend will come and stay.

Þ Strive for commitment Honor your commitments, whether it is for a relationship or for a task to be completed, your children, your friends, your parents or your spouse.  You will never see substantial outcomes in your life if you don’t keep your commitments.

Þ Get rid of negativity  Are there people  or situations that are stopping you from living your full potential by inducing negative thoughts in your mind? Get away from them as quickly as you can. Surround yourself with positive people, positive thoughts and positive energy. Change your paradigm about different situations. Be in charge of your thoughts and view about life.

Þ Do everything that you always wanted to do. Do you know that the biggest secret to living a fulfilled life is to actually execute all your ideas that you never found the time for? It could be anything like cross country backpacking, learning an archaic language, growing your own vegetable garden, building a snow castle, going skydiving or joining a dance class! No matter how crazy it sounds, It’s time to take control over your life and find time to do everything you have always wanted to do. A lot of people say there’s no time, the truth is that there’s never enough time. We need to create the time for things to happen.

OFF BALANCE ON PURPOSE

I used to be a strong advocate of balancing your life. Creating balance in all we do until i listened to this talk "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OkzozrUEHY" by Dan Thurmon, an author of 2 books, a renowned speaker and a recognized in delivering peak performances. This talk changed my perspective about getting fulfilled in life, creating the life that i love.
My learnings;

1. Perfect balance is unachievable and, upon closer inspection, undesirable. The perpetual quest for balance ends up limiting growth, progress, and the quality of life. This is because, life patterns are constantly changing and evolving. And this pattern is peculiar to you, nobody shares the same pattern as you. Balance tells us to protect our time, compartmentalize our time and we usually find out we don’t have enough time to do that.
2. In order to grow in life and also create that wonderful and fulfilling life we have always imagined;

•       We need to lounge ourselves into uncertainties when we don’t even know where we are going. We should not limit ourselves to what is comfortable to protect ourselves. Accept and take advantage of the contradictions in your daily life. We should be willing to make ourselves uncomfortable by leaning forward to opportunities to grow. Accept risks and responsibilities. Initiate positive changes that lead to growth. Up our stakes. Look for greater opportunities. Stretch ourselves. Embrace uncertainties with clear objectives, realizing it’s just one thing at a time (not too many things at the same time). BE PRESENT AND ON PURPOSE!!!!!- Most importantly, if we want to grow, do something more difficult than we are doing now.
• 
  
•       We need to connect every aspects of our lives—work, relationships, health, spiritual growth, and personal interests—into a workable, fluid, sustaining pattern. Adopt a practical, concrete process for orchestrating changes and staying aligned with your purpose.  That we can be healthy, have a great family, relationship, grow spiritually and still perform excellent at work. The opportunities are infinite to gain control and transcend beyond our current patterns of connecting the aspects of our lives.

3.    The only way to have control in the off-balance environment which we live in is to elevate our focus. If we limit ourselves to what is comfortable to protect ourselves, we deny ourselves of what is possible. If we are unwilling to lean forward to opportunities to grow, we might start going backward. We can reach beyond our levels of success by giving ourselves opportunity to grow from one level to another.  We can do that when we lean forward, make ourselves uncomfortable, leverage our resources, embrace uncertainties- OFF BALANCE ON PURPOSE.

THE BEAUTY IN US: WE ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN WE THINK

I was privileged(thanks to my company) to witness an awesome presentation by Dan Hanover(CEO event marketer Magazine). He literally got every attendee glued to various ads and campaigns made by different companies. I practically got myself inspired by one campaign created by a famous company. In the video,


"They asked women to describe themselves to an FBI trained forensic artist Gil Zamora (from behind a mysterious curtain), who drew a portrait of them based on their description. The same women are then described by strangers whom they met the previous day. The sketches are compared, with the stranger's image invariably being both more flattering and more accurate. The differences create strong reactions when shown to the women".



The reality is that people see us to be more beautiful than we think we are. But the problem is that we have allowed the society through the magazines, TV, adverts and social media have defined for us different standards of beauty- that we undervalue the true beauty in ourselves. We feel we need to attain a particular size, height and color to be part of the society. We feel less confident in ourselves when we are not accepted by a particular group of people, when somebody rejects us and makes mockery of our size or weight or our clothes and bags. And we fail to realize how unique we are. We fail to realize what lies inside of us. i guess that;'s why Ralph Waldo said in one of his books that -

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

Our perception of ourselves is far less positive than it should be.  What  we don't know is that feeling beautiful is the first step to living happier, more confident lives. We are unique and wonderfully made. No one is perfect. Each of us have flaws and this one thing that makes us different from the other person. We need to stop idolizing people's lives, we need to stop wishing we were somebody else. The truth is, if you were given a 1 sec chance to be somebody else, i think we would all feel better about ourselves after the experience. That confident person out there who so much love her life and constantly happy have  simply discovered herself, the unique thing about her, her inner beauty. Quoting Aisha Ahmad of WIMBIZ, "We need to discover that one unique thing about us, perfect it and amplify it. Then find our tribe. Find people like you and build it"

We don't need to waste time and resources trying to be part of a particular niche. We are more beautiful than we can imagine. And you know what! there's someone out there who adore and admire what we are. Who wants to be part of our lives. You just need to identify this beauty that lies within us and appreciate. In no time, you will be connected to the right people that is meant to be part of our journey.

A task for you every morning;  After you have dressed up every morning for work, go to the mirror and tell yourself "I AM BEAUTIFUL" and make sure you feel very good about yourself, you will see how that positive vibe will transform your life.

Fighting the right way

You need to see this awesome movie! Dimma said. I started wondering what made her so excited about the movie. After so much battling with sleep that night, i finally woke up by am and the first thing that struck me was, "You need to see this awesome movie". Although it was Sunday morning, i didn't think about church, i just settled in the sofa and hit the PLAY button.

10 minutes into this movie, i had tears rolling down my cheeks(i cry when i watch movies actually)* lol. It struck me, THE POWER OF A PRAYING WOMAN. By a woman, i don't mean only married women, i mean every woman(single and married). What most women don't realize is how powerful they are. We are caught up by fears, low self-esteem, people's expectations of the way our lives would play out, rejection from guys, fears of being single, fear of loosing our husbands, fear of not being part of a certain circle of people.t.c. And this has made us not to realize how much power we have. Look at the women in the scripture, read their stories (Esther, Judith, Ruth and lots of them), you realize how powerful women can be. We need to tap into that power, each and everyone of us.  Most times, we are overwhelmed by the pressures from work, family, etc; and we respond by fighting ourselves or our family or in extreme cases, challenge God in strange ways. What we don't realize is that the fight isn't for us. We need to go God who does the fighting for us. He made us to understand in (2nd Chronicles 7:14) what exactly he expects us to do. Sometimes, this pressures makes us to ask if God is watching, the truth is that, He's ever there, everyday, watching us, loving us, waiting for us to come to him to tell him our problems, to tell him to console us, to give us inner peace. We can't say that doctors do not exist on earth, because when we are sick, we go to the hospital to see them. We should do same for God. We should go to God when we are happy, sad, feeling down, feeling rejected, when people hurt us, because he knows who to fight. He knows the only way the devil gets to him is from hurting you, and he will make everything possible. It doesn't matter how  far your sins have led, it doesn't matter what people say about, what matters is that God loves you and his arms are wide open to anchor you and help you fight your pressures, fears, hurts, rejection the right way.

I will end by putting this quote by ;

Thanks to Chidimma for making me see that movie (WAR ROOM). If you haven't seen it, you need to catch it. It will transform you

YALLA!!!!

Yalla!!!!!. After so much procrastination, the blog came to live. Thanks to Koye (a wonderful colleague). Funny enough, i didn't realize i already opened one before. Guess the design was a way too down for me. Thanks to him anyways.

What is this blog about? Well, i realized i get inspirations everyday, things i want to share with people and they can learn from. I am bad at keeping diaries, the only way is to open a blog. JUST TO POUR MY THOUGHTS. Yes!!! My thoughts.

I don't promise to always have the juicy and romantic gists that all our ears are always craving for. What i will give is real life lessons. May not be so funny, but will transform your life. Join me in this journey and thank God for the gift of me. ENJOY THE RIDE.....................................